I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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