if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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