yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
