I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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