I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
