I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
