just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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