1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
