Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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