i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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