if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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