using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
