Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
