Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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