Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
