I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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