She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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