i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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