You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize