ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize