I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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