he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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