I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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