honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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