Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
