I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
