im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
