...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
