just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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