There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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