When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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