she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
