All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
