dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
