Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize