Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize