my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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