Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
