the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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