I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
