Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
