it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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