Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
where am i from again
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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