I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
