A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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