You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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