just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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