This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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