Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
