if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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