Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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