I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
