Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
