But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
