he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
