I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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