You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
