I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
