just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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